~When the phone rings~

It's my 6th birthday since knowing that my first mother, my birth mother, my natural mother........Dottye is dead.

Can I call it funny that when the phone rings on this day my heart still skips a beat as I go to see who it is calling?

No, it's not really funny because the pain that is there when I know it's not her is still as strong as ever.

Each call, there were not many thank goodness, I have Shannon look to see if it is an out of town number.

You know, in case "he" calls.

In case someone who knew him, maybe he's dead, but maybe someone will call to tell me who he was.

It didn't happen.

The waiting for that call moves into a lot of years now.

Someday it might happen.

I can't help but to feel sadness that today wasn't that day.

I am glad Shannon took the day off today. It was the best gift for sure.

He asked me several times how I was doing.

I know he caught me in thought many times. He didn't ask me what I was thinking, just put his hand on my knee or around my waist. Sometimes it's just good to feel him there, without having to try and give words to my thoughts. Without having to justify my mood.

We went to the casino today. It was just the right thing to do you know, being conceived in Vegas and all.

We walked to the far end , exercise is important :0), and sat down at our favorite machines.

He was a few isles over when the song started to play.

I ended my gambling early in order to go to him and make sure he heard the song.

Joy to the World by Three Dog Night.

Yes, Dottye, I hear you.

I miss you,I love you, and every now and then I hear you.

Joy to the World  <- click there to hear the song!