The Golden Nugget

As the pieces of my search seemed to come together in some ways about a year and a half ago Shannon and I out that maybe we knew the reason why we named our dachshund Nugget.
This was when we thought that Waylon was going to end up being my birth father. It made sense since we know he played here often.
I do know that Dottye did see him here, though we have no way to know how many times. One of the things tha Allison told me was tha Dottye enjoyed dancing, she enjoyed having a good time and loved being noticed. She knew that when she walked into a room that heads turned to look at her. She loved o dance and as I sit in my room I can imagine the music and the fun that she had. I know her fun often came crashing around her. I wonder if she thought that it was worth it though.
Can you see me Dottye?
Did you walk the same casino floors?
Did you sit at the same bar stool?
I know that you wanted to keep so much of your life private.
I know that you kept silent about so much of your pain.
Wouldn't it be worth it in some way ro let me let those secrets out?
Can you see that I need to be heard?
Do you understand why it is that I feel the need for people to remember you or at the very least acknowledge that you were once a woman who was full of life?
That you were taken too soon, even if once you were gone you were not sorry that your time had come?
You have three daughters and a son.
You have two daughters tha have connected on what is sometimes a scary level.
You have two daughters tha understand you in a way tha who knows, maybe we couldn't have understood you on this same level had you not teft us so soon.
You were only 24 and maybe tha is what part of the pain continues to be about.
I can't help but to think of you, even will all of the things that were secrets, tha others might look down on, I can't help but to still think that there is so much more to you.
Where are you tonight?

I made a request for people to look up Fox 5 news in Las Vegas. If you ever wanted to help, now would be a great time.
How do I go to sleep without looking back at the past 6 yeRs since finding my sister, without look back at my entire search?
How do I go to sleep when my thoughts won't slow down?
How will I ever know if I have done all that I can to make you somehow see that I will never hang my head in shame over anything that you did?
Ugh. What a day.