The Beatles

Sat out on the freemont strip as they did the sky show and the Beatles came on.
"what's your name.......who's your daddy?"
Really?
I wanted to yell "ya bitch what's my name? Who was my "daddy?""
did you even have a name tucked away deep in your heart for me? Did you ever play the pretend game that I have played my whole life?
If I could keep her I would name her...........
Ya well on a night like tonight I allow my mind to go back and dig into my gut with the feeling that no, you never had a name for me. I was the rotten dinner you ate while away and were more then happy to dispose of Dow the drain after you purged to feel better.
You needed to see me in order to be sure that I was ok or you as well as your husband were afraid that you would slip back into a mental state.
Never mind needing to see me to make sure that I was ok because you knew full well that your were doing horrible things to your body while you were pregnant with me.
I'm tired of you tonight.
I'm tired of trying to see your signs, of trying to figure out if you are sending them at all or if I am just reading the signs of a pigeon who farted in the wind.
And ps, I'm tired of finding out info and signs to pass along to your kept daughter.
You kept her, you figure out a way to tell her!!!
I forgive you for having an affair and for despising of me to save your own mental health. I can't help but to wonder if you ever had a moment to think of the mental heatlh of me.
And then I have to feel guilty knowing the life that you lived and that it was taken away without any warning at such young age.
Why should I feel guilty for I had nothing to do with your tragedy.
Oh ya, but I did. I was.
Please Dot, Dottye, mom, lady luck or what ever it is you want me to call you, please help me to find out the truth so I can find my own life!!