Slow day's

I think part of the reason why a search is compared to a roller coaster ride is because there are so many ups and downs, and in many cases like my own, a lot of twists.

It's been a slow day or two and I find that my brain has a hard time with that. It's when I am busy with several different things going on that I seem to feel the most active.

When I don't have this resource to check or that person to write, I end up in a brain fart funk where I can't seem to think of a thing to do and I feel the minutes ticking by.

It also gives me the time to allow the feelings to surface and I don't tend to do well with that at all.

Tomorrow is my mothers birthday. I sent her a little gift, something I think she can use. I will cal with my usual greeting and hope that the conversation sticks to news, weather and sports. No feelings usually ends well.

I'm finding that I am having a difficult time with those who don't seem to understand, or those who don't care to try to understand, the importance of my search.

How can you look at all that I have done, the time and money spent, and not understand that this is more then a want, it is a need.

I have those who I feel like should understand it more so then others. One of those people I am beginning to feel myself draw back from for they have shown a lack of commitment when saying they will do certain tasks. I can't be overly open about it here, and that just plain sucks. I had opened this blog in hopes of truly being able to vent at any given time. Maybe I should have kept it private, maybe those words that I am holding in will come out at some point.

So, in order to feel active I am going to do my best to  list what I have done thus far, in hopes of finding my truth.I hope that I can remember everything, and I hope that maybe a few of you who may be searching, not just in adoption, might be able to pull something from my list that will help!Please keep in mind that my search began before the home computer (gasp!) and that many of the things I have listed, I have done multiple times.

While under the age of 18:

Sneak through my parents filing cabinet, desk and anyplace I had access, looking for documents.

Ask questions, in my case usually in a subtle way, take notes.

18:

Went to the Probate Court house.

Petitioned the court for my file.

Wrote Dear Abby

Letters to the editor in local papers.

Wrote talk shows including: Oprah, Maury, Montell, Sally.

20's through today:

Continued to write talk shows: Oprah, Dr. Phil , Dr. Oz, The View...........

Write TV : Unsolved Mysteries, Find My Family, The Locator, Dateline, Regis, Who Do You Think You Are, Search, Good Morning America, The Today show.

Wrote the governor of Ohio.

Paid and petitioned the court for my non id.

Wrote Ohio Vital Stats.

Internet search and forums as well as registries.

Researched with search books and memoirs.

Placed items for sale on Ebay and included in the description about my adoption search.

Once I found Dottye at a grave:

Asked for all info from the funeral home

Spoke to the police department about the accident report, no longer have it.

Joined Yahoo state specific search groups.

Hired a CI in Arizona.

Joined classmates for the years Dottye should have been in school.

Placed an in memory ad with photo in Ohio and Las Vegas paper

Took a dna test with a possible brother via birth father (was not a match)

Continued to ask questions to my parents

Asked the court again for more info with Dottye's death certificate

Continued to write talk shows and TV shows

Wrote letters to people who signed Dottye's funeral book.

Hired a no find no fee searcher who did not stand by her contract and never searched.

Spoke to Allison Dubois twice

Spoke to the man who took Dottye's funeral photos.

Spoke to Floyd Sneed of Three Dog Night

Started a web site on my search

Posted on Craigslist in Vegas, Columbus and Boston about my search.

Contacted any form of media

Spoke to the widow of Dottye's widow.

Spoke to people at a family reunion

Took a DNA test with Bo Jennings (not a match for myself and Waylon)

Took a DNA test with my sister (we are indeed only half sisters)

Trip to Vegas:

Went to the University and copied the 1970 City directory

Went to the library and scanned on micro film for my "Legal notice"

Went to all casino's that still exist from 1971 and spoke to dealers, pit bosses as well as front desk staff. Handed out cards to my site.

Went to the Italian American club and spoke to the manager and bar tender about my search.

 Since being home from Vegas:

Wrote to every person I could find who worked in Keno in the 1970 City Directory (over 200 letters)

Wrote to talk shows and media.

Tried to hire another no find no fee searcher, they wouldn't take my case

Tried to get my agency name from the courts, still waiting on that.

Emailed every senator and legislator in Ohio

Made a youtube video about my search

Did basic DNA on two sites: familytreedna and 23andme   Have many 4th and 5th cousin matches but unable to make the connection.

This is what I have so far. Of coarse I also wrote my book and it sits collecting dust while I wait for the final chapter as well as for my sister to edit it. Once I get my final chapter (finding my birth father) I will hire an editor and get it published. Should piss a few people off, but hopefully help a few others.

That's all I can think of for now.......................

Here's a photo from this past birthday, 39 years old, 21 years of "legal" searching. Still hopeful. I'm sure you can guess my wish.