Jury Duty

I've been called for Jury Duty a total of four times, maybe five. I can clearly remember four.
The first two times I arrived at the court house to be told the case no longer needed a jury and so was turned back to head home. Job well done simply by showing up.

The third time was a case on a family suing a doctor who released a woman and the same day she took her own life. I only got to hear some of the details of the case. What hit me the most was seeing the family on the side of the room as the lawyers questioned the possible jury, and the replies from the possible jury members.

I became angry. I found it hard to bite my tongue. An example was a woman who had sat next to me. When we got back to the room after our lunch break, she was not there. We waited and finally the bailiff called her on her cell phone. Her response was that she was late and figured since she was late she just wouldn't come back at all. She was told that yes, she needed to come back. (She actually made the jury , I have no idea how she was a good choice).

One of the questions that we were allowed to answer in more length in private is if we had been touched in any way personally by suicide. I was one of there people who rose my hand.

The just potentials were released for a break and the three of us were held behind. I approached the bench second in line. The deceased woman's family was still on the side, I walked up to the judge, as well as the four attorneys and bailiff.

I explained how I had been personally touched (didn't speak of my own past issues but rather of the stories of Dotty'e's many attempts) and finished off by asking the judge if he always had to deal with such a group of assholes. The looks on the faces told me that what I had said was perhaps not appropriate BUT understood.

I was dismissed at the end of the day and could not get the case out of my mind. I called the court a week after the trial to find out what had happened in the case. The bailiff explained the steps to take to purchase a transcript and then commented on remembering me well.
My honesty was appreciated, though it didn't help any to get me picked.

Yesterday I was in group of 300. The courts needed a total of 130 isn to fill the current cases. I got picked as one of 45 to head across the floor into a case.
The production VS a drunk driver.
We were told he had at least two prior convictions of drunk driving and here that makes this charge a felony. He could do 2-10 years and the penalty would be decided by this jury as well.
Long story short the prosecutor went through each row asking of any of us being personally touched by drunk driving. There were four rows of people, I was in the back row. (I now understand they place you in the order that they upon first looking at your paperwork think they might pick , so once again I would likely not make the team. Man how I hate being picked near last).

I had it pretty together, was simply going to say I lost my first mother to drunk driving. Yup, she was dead, yup it was a drunk driver. No need to go into the details that she was the drunk who was driving.
A gal in the second row said "I lost a dear friend to drunk driving in 1979" I listened and thought wow, that was just a few years after Dottye died. I guess that pain never goes away. "It was in Franklin County, Columbus....." and then I no longer heard her words. Why she decided to be so specific on where it happened? I'll get back to that.
When he got to me I thought I had it together. I took a breath and as the words came out "I lost my first mom, she died in a drunk accident" the tears came. My throat felt as if it might swell shut as people began to turn in the bench to look at me. Oh lord how I hated to be looked at and while I'm crying, please let me melt into this back wall!
I dug into my messenger back for a tissue as the final 6 people gave their reply. And then the last person said "You think we might take a break soon, I really need to use the rest room." Thank goodness for that last man!
We were dismissed for a 20 minute break. I grabbed my bag and high tailed it to the front door. I was out! I felt the sun hit my face and smelled the smoke of those puffing away out front of the building. I paused and reached into my bag for my phone and my vape. I called Shannon and said "I just want to come home. I just don't want to be here anymore." He calmed my down as I puffed on my fake cigarette and by the end of our 3 minute call I was back to being me.

Two things happened as I walked back into the building and waited in the hall with my o there possible jury members.
A woman in bright pink approached me and touched my arm saying "I am so sorry about your mother". Being the me that I am, not liking to make other uncomfortable and feeling guilt replied "Oh no no. Don't be. She died alone, she was the drunk." The woman looked at me and said "My God I just got chills up my entire arm." to which I replied "It's good, chills are a good thing" and I walked away.
I was looking at the back of heads as I scanned the group of people and finally found her. "Are you the woman who lost someone in Franklin County in 1979?"
"Yes, that was me."
"What made you say it was in Franklin County?"
She kind of gave a little laugh with a shrug and said "You know I have no idea".
"I do. That's where my first mother died. "
The woman sat there and looked confused.
"She wanted me to know I wasn't alone, or something. She wanted me to know something."
The woman and I went on to change the talk to something more light, we spoke of Columbus and Cleveland and all of the changes both cities have had over the past 30 plus years.
As we called back in she said "I'm sorry I mentioned the county. I didn't mean to make you cry."
And so I replied "You didn't make me cry, you made me feel a little less alone."

I didn't get picked for the jury. They sent us out for a final 20 minute break and when we were called back in the judge told us "Well I've got good news for you, bad news for myself. They were only able to agree on 11 people so you are all free to go home and do not need to come back. We will do the process tomorrow with a new group. We thank you for taking the time to try and serve. Sometimes this just happens.

A woman I had kind of hung out with during lunch and had several misfortunes in health spoke to the defendants attorney after we were released, off the record. He said that she had been one of the 11 they agreed on. She said "A gal here pointed something out to me that we later found out no one else noticed (that gal was me). The defendant, does he have some sort of health issues. She said she saw him walking to his car at lunch and he was very jerky in the upper body, seeming to have a horrible twitch. She said when he got his upper body to stop his lower badly seemed to drag more then walk."

Indeed this man has some sort of medical condition having in part to do with his back. He has to give himself injections, he didn't say of what. He can "control" the spasms some, but not completely.
"I hope you will bring that up when he gets his trial, with a doctor to explain?" The attorney replied with a smile that he would. He asked which now non jury member had pointed it out and she told him "The one who was crying, the one whose mother had died."

I wish now, and at the moment that she shared this conversation with me, that I had kept my person issues out of the way. It brought about a lot of thought for me, even with my raging migraine. We can look across the room and judge without knowing we are judging. We must remember that there is always a story behind a story.
I hope this man gets a fair trial. I have no way of knowing if he was driving drunk, hat his prior or when his prior convictions were (who knows, maybe he was a pre teen, maybe he was an adult) but in the end I hope that the trial goes as fairly as possible for we will always be human, we will always have our own feelings and thoughts.
No matter how it goes, and no matter what the media shows, I believe in our justice system. I believe there is always room for improvement and I believe that we are lucky to have a voice.