The day she quit

40.
Yes. I made it to the ripe ol' age of 40.
I won't go into too much detail as that is not what is currently on my mind however I can tell you that for the first time in memory I did not have a single negative or self hate feeling on my actual date of birth this year. All due to the love of my husband.
Nuff said on that for now.
What brings me by my blog after so much time away?
A brain full of words twisting and mixing, forming new words by blurring into each other.
You might recall that about 6 months ago I mailed letters to people who had signed Dottye's funeral sign in book. I looked for names with address in Ohio,  Nevada, Arizona as well as Massachusetts. It was a long shot.
I'm used to long shots.
The day OF my 40th birthday I came home from breakfast with my husband and sister to find a message on my machine.
Yes.
THE day of my birthday.
It was a man who had received one of my long ago sent letters. He explained that he was just now getting to me as he had taken the time to think about who the letter was intended to go to.
He is the son of a man who is now deceased, a man named Robert. That is who my letter was to go to.
I waited a few days before calling him back.
My husband had surprised me by flying my sister in for my birthday weekend, and then surprised me again with a surprise party! I was busy, emotionally worn out and frankly totally out of it for most of the weekend.
After my sister left on Monday I took the day to gather myself then called this man back the next day.
We spoke for over and hour.
His father.
His father often spoke of Dottye with much fondness.
His father.
His father grew up near Boston.
His father.
His father was 6 foot 2.

Once again my heart and my brain do battle.
So many things fall into line.
So many things that offer no concrete proof.
Once again I make the choice to send off for a DNA kit.
We should know within 7 weeks if this man whom I spoke to is my brother.
A brother who shares the same father.

It's hard to say what my reaction will be if once again it is not a match and simply another twist on my road.
I can tell you what my reaction will be if it is a match.
Chances are you will hear me from your own home no matter how far away if I get that call or email saying "you have a new match."

Wait with me for the 7 weeks.
Hope with me that it takes less then 7 weeks.
Share my journey and give me the strength to deal with the results.
Strength.
Ironic.
Hope